Wednesday, October 31, 2001
it's a full moon tonight, for the second time this month - which makes it a blue moon - and for the first time on halloween in 46 years. maybe, just maybe, that explains a little bit of why this day has become so completely fucked. happy tricks and treats.
i was just checking cnn.com, and found an article - an interview with a cnn correspondent who is in afghanistan, covering the war from the ground. the reporter talked about the us bombing efforts, and reported seeing damage to several civilian buildings, and a lot of public support for the taliban among afghanis, who don't understand why the us is hitting civilian targets, or afghanistan in general. the interview was really very objective, good reporting of what this man had seen, and the reporter qualified his information by analyzing the sources and the access to sites he was being given by the taliban. it certainly didn't reflect too well on the us, and raised quite a few questions as to whether what we're doing is the right thing to do. and then, immediately following the article was the following "EDITOR'S NOTE: The Pentagon has stressed that it is trying to minimize civilian casualties in Afghanistan. The U.S.-led coalition launched its offensive on October 7 after Afghanistan's ruling Taliban refused to hand over members of the al Qaeda terror network, which is suspected of orchestrating attacks in the United States that killed close to 5,000 people." just in case you had forgotten about the wtc. or why we're bombing afghanistan. or the fact that the us of a is the good guy, and never makes mistakes. because, after all, this is cnn, and even at the expense of our journalistic integrity, we wouldn't want you to leave a story thinking the us might not be doing everything right...
just saw a really interesting couple of bands, and i was conflicted as to where to post about it - here on my blog (because it's kind of a 'what i did tonight' thing), or on my music page (since it is about going to see bands). i went with music, and figured i'd just post a link from here, in case you were wondering what i did tonight. thus, a link. Tuesday, October 30, 2001
playing: billy joel, the stranger to give credit where credit is due, this post is inspired by the recent goings on at bluishorange. it's interesting to read the comments on alison's site, because her posts are clearly very personal, as are those of the commentors who know her in real life. but the rest of the posts take her themes elsewhere, give them broader contexts, expand them to the greater world, and apply them to our lives, not just hers. and so it's one of these macro-themes that's got me thinking: candor is overrated, i think. or if not, it's just impossible. we all cultivate a public persona, a game face - a mask, if you will - and we go about life, presenting ourselves to the public as someone we're not. we all have insecurities, we all have flaws, and weaknesses and skeletons in our closets. we wrap ourselves in an image of what we want others to see, and often of what we want to see of ourselves, to protect our tender soft-shell selves from the pokes, jabs and stares of others, and of our own critical super-egos. we protect ourselves by pretending to be what we're not, (like those species of butterflies and fish that have big spots that look like eyes, to decieve predatory animals into thinking they're messing with the wrong creature.) a world without masks would be a world of infinite trust. this is not that world. so don't expect to read this blog and see what i think of me, the real me, ( then again, is that the real me? oh, i'm in too deep now, mayday, mayday) - a blog is a perfect opportunity to show the world only what you want it to see. there are things i'd never write about here, and there are things i just don't. but every now and then, as in real life (and maybe even slightly more often) a glimpse of the face behind the fascade may be visible. one other thing - masks are what see of each other every day, and they're not necessarily bad, though they may be deceptive. our masks are as unique as the interior selves they hide and protect, and appear the way they do because of them. maybe "mask" isn't the best term - maybe our portrayed selves are as true, and as much a part of us as what's underneath. maybe they're filters, not masks - just another way of looking at the same person... so maybe this is candor, of one sort or another... wow, would you look at that, i've talked myself out of my original point... Monday, October 29, 2001
a couple of random, rambling rants: • every good new orleanian, by birth, has a special place in his heart for popeyes, because, of course, the chain was begun here by one al copeland, one of our fine city's most eccentric and, shall we say, decorative personalities, though it was eventually taken over by a huge national conglomerate known as the afc corporation. even though i don't eat meat and consequently haven't had popeyes' chicken in about eight years, i've still retained that little soft spot in my heart for the chain. but no longer. since popeyes went national, they've always capitalized on the new orleans image, which i guess is ok, if sometimes a bit overdone. but now, they've crossed the line. the new popeyes' slogan, emblazoned across the front of every newly remodeled popeyes building, is, "we do good bay-ou". we do good by you. we do good bayou. how fucking annoying. at least to an english major / cajun like me. even worse, my friend andrew's little brother works in new york for the pr agency most likely responsible. charlie, if you ever read this, i hope this wasn't your idea... • on the rare occasions that i watch non-news television, (animal planet doesn't count, because that's not on for me) my channel flipping fairly often comes to rest at the turner classic movies channel, where the host who looks like newt gingrich introduces old hollywood studio films. you get some good classic stuff there every now and then, and often, silent movies. i'm fascinated by silent movies. it's always interesting to see exactly where in the movie the director places the little text-plates for the audience to read narration or dialogue, because you have to assume those are the places where they figured that body language alone couldn't adequately express what needed to be expressed, and something external had to be inserted for the sake of continuity or comprehension. so, i'm watching one of these tonight - the unholy three , starring lon chaney. chaney plays a ventriloquist / crime boss. at the beginning of the movie - which is really all i saw - they show him giving a ventriloquism performance. which is hilarious, because it's a silent movie. and ventriloquism is all about talking, and where the sound is coming from, right? so it goes like this: shot of chaney (dr. echo, the ventriloquist) addressing crowd; *cut to text-plate asking dummy a question*; shot of dummy moving jaws ; *cut to text-plate of dummy answering question*... i don't know. maybe you had to see it. it struck me as absolutely absurd. it's like ventriloquism, without the ventriloquism. just doesn't work very well. kind of like trying to teach sign language over the radio. Sunday, October 28, 2001
i posted this as a comment on bluishorange, and it took a bit of thought, i figured i'd maximize my returns and post it here too. it's "the five celebrities i'd sleep with if given the opportunity" list, a la friends. maybe it reveals a some lagniappe about who i am - maybe it's just a silly grammar school game. so anyway: 1 - parker posey 2 - janeane garofalo 3 - chloe sevigny 4 - julia stiles 5 - gillian anderson 6 - winona ryder (alternate) 7 - molly ringwald (alternate) one possible interpretation of this is that i go for smart indie-types and redheads or combinations of both. i wouldn't argue with that.
i carved the best jack-o'lantern i think i've ever done last night. and the costume went over well, though very few people knew what i was without my showing them from the book. which i was rather surprised by... i thought i'd be universally recognized. did these people have deprived childhoods? do you know where the wild things are? it was a good party. but not a big one, because several people who gave every indication they'd come didn't show. people i was really depending on to be there, who were a big part of the reason reason i had put all that work into my costume and into helping christine get the party together, but whatever. what can i say, i'm disappointed, and kind of hurt. i think it really meant that much to me. Saturday, October 27, 2001
i did something today, in furtherance of my halloween costume, that i haven't done in three years. it's a momentous, landmark occasion, for me. and it feels strange - i don't quite fit the picture of myself i have in my head anymore. but it felt like the right time to do it, and if i want to i can just go back to the way it was, won't take long. that's the plan for now. after all, how many ten year-old rulers of wild things have you seen that have a goatee? well, you won't see one tonight either. off to the big party.
i'm half-asleep, half-covered in white paint and half-buzzing from inhaling fumes from spray paint and spray adhesive. but it's done. the costume is finished, for the most part - just a few finishing touches tommorrow. let the wild rumpus begin! now to sleep. Thursday, October 25, 2001
busy...tired...busy...tired...up late...busy... if someone ever offers you the opportunity to design two websites, perfect the ins and outs of e-commerce, design a cd package, learn php, create a halloween costume from scratch, and bill sixty hours of legal work, all in one week, run the other way. unless you're feeling charitable right about now, in which case, i'll let you do it for a marble and a dead cat in trade. a couple items of note, though: • i have a new addiction, or rather a new version of an ongoing addiction - it's called "diet coke with lemon" and it is revolutionary. for someone who lives on a steady (or unsteady?) diet of diet coke and veggie hot dogs, it opens the door to a whole new world. i can't say it particularly tastes like lemon - maybe "diet coke with lemon merangue pie" would be more accurate - but it's better than the real thing, baby. the fridge is stocked. • i posted a guilty pleasure confession on the music page tonight. if you're interested. Wednesday, October 24, 2001
i don't know why i'd even put this up here, but i guess taking all these little online tests is fun enough. so: i am 43% geek.  this is from the geek test. that's about what i figured i'd get. dammit. i got the link from melissa at augustsky. she's 33% less geek than me. actually, i've just begun to poke around over there, but she seems to be pretty damn cool herself, despite the fact that it looks like we have quite a few things in common. pennoyer v. neff, anyone? and we're both going to see the strokes this week, so we must both be pretty cool, right? right. whatever. or something. oh. and i found a new online comic that rocks. new to me, at least, though it's apparently been around for years. it's called sinfest. kind of calvin meets pogo, as far as drawing style goes. something like that. and deep, too - lots of poking at touchy issues. insightful but fun. Tuesday, October 23, 2001
remember amihotornot? well, now there's something slightly more useful, albeit less of a guilty pleasure: canidraw? - it's a site where you submit drawings, photos and design work, and get public ratings and reviews. pretty cool, but it deserves more traffic. and it only has 33 images so far. go over there, rate some artwork, and guess which one's mine. (hint: it's pretty obvious.)
so the costume is progressing nicely. but it will be itchy. ... i just erased quite a bit of posting which, after reading back over it, was completely without redeeming qualities and thus deserved to be immediately excised, even before you the reader had the chance to judge it on its merits. it has been that sort of day, so i won't burden you with more for now. except to say that i'm listening to wwoz - quite possibly the world's best radio station, at least for jazz and blues - and tonight's dj is mightily incompetent, and is allowing long spaces of dead air to float all over new orleans and, via webcast, the world. and at a total loss for decorum in the face of his dilemma. i am embarassed for him. i am embarasssed for him, even though his dog once bit the lip of a friend of a friend of mine, permanently disfiguring her face. no joke. all that aside, wwoz really is the best station in the world. something only new orleans could produce, momentary lapses in competence included. listen. Saturday, October 20, 2001
for what seems like forever now, polite conversation among my friends and aquaintances has revolved around one of two major subjects: (1) 9-11, war, and anthrax (2) what are you going to be for halloween? as of tonight, i have an answer for number two. now to prepare.
so all this talk about my collection of odds and ends - packratism, it's been called, and i can agree with that - i am a packrat - has gotten me thinking about why i tend to collect/amass this stuff. i know it's been a lifelong habit - i remember in fourth grade everyone in my class had to pick a poem to recite and act out, and mine was shel silverstein's 'hector the collector' from where the sidewalk ends. i still remember the beginning, "hector the collector, collected bits of string, collected clocks that wouldn't tock, collected bells that wouldn't ring..." or something along those lines, and basically went on to paraphrase the adage that 'one man's junk is another man's treasure'. i always loved that poem, because it reminded me of myself. in pondering the subject of junk, i realized that i collect things for more than just their potential value as part of some future art object. for whatever reason, i'm about as sad a sappy sucker as they come, and i don't break attachments - even to things - very easily. if something has or ever had a special meaning to me, i keep it around. i remember once when i was maybe seven or eight, my parents' laundry machine had given up the ghost after many years of dedicated clothes washing. they decided to replace it with the newest model whirpool, and when the sears instalation man wheeled out the old machine, i cried and cried - it was the only laundry machine i had ever known. i ran after it, stopped the man, and pried off a small metal plate from the back of the machine - some sort of panel cover, only a few inches square - to remember it by. i swear this is true. when my parents had the worn, brown, seventies shag carpet replaced, i had to cut out a few strands so i'd never forget it. there are even some objects which for whatever reason go beyond sentiment into... superstition, i guess. they take on an almost talismanic quality, and i generally think of them as something like the ravens at the tower of london - it's said that if the ravens ever leave, the tower will fall. (i remember being very impressed by that tale when i read about it in a paddington bear book as a child, and even moreso on my first visit to london when i was ten.) so there are these things - just normal everyday objects - that i inexplicably create my own mythologies around. take, for example, the bottle of green scope, brought from home, that survived the entirety of my first year of college, unnoticed and unopened, in my dorm room medicine cabinet. from that point forward, i kept that bottle of green scope in my dorm room each year, purposely never opened. i don't know what i thought would happen if i ever used it, but i didn't want to find out. likewise, there's a box of freez-e-pops (the kind of popsicles that come as liquid, and you freeze yourself) in my freezer that have been there since i moved into this apartment three and a half years ago, and i have no intention of ever throwing them out, or of eating them - things have gone pretty well here since they've been in there, who knows what might happen if i ever took them out? i know i'm a weirdo. but so are you, about something. Friday, October 19, 2001
unbelievable! unapologetic has been picked as coolstop.com's "best of the cool" site of the day for october 19th! well, thanks to coolstop for the honor and the encouraging words, and welcome to everyone who's coming here from there. if you get a chance, stop by the contact page and let me know what you think...
of all the funny, random weird crap out there on the web, i could never have even imagined this. it's so absurd, you can't help but love it, just 'cause it actually exists. Thursday, October 18, 2001
apparently, jessica at peacedividend thinks the fact that i "collect random junk in hopes of one day using it as found art" is amusing. "generating his own found art," she writes, with that certain brand of smug, sarcastic smirk that only looks cute on liberal arts grad students, "that is so postmodern." amusing, it is. you try having a room full of broken dishes, sticks, broken electronics, shells, foreign currency, scraps of paper, scraps of wood, scraps of metal - and it becomes pretty amusing - an amusing mess. a few months ago, though, i organized things a bit and put it all in a closet where it doesn't muck up the apartment too much anymore. but postmodern? maybe that too, though that's a loaded word. i'm not collecting things out of dumpsters so that some day i can come back and say, "wow, look at this old gadget i found in my closet, i think i'll write "r. mutt 2001" on it and, voila, found art!" that sort of weird recursive reclamation would be more along the lines of postmodernism / deconstruction. i collect things with an eye to someday using them in assemblage art pieces, along the lines of joseph cornell's shadowboxes. which i've done in the past, with decent results. so maybe it's just very 'mixed media' and not 'found art', as such, (the distiction being that any item in and of itself could be found art, and i'm using this stuff as elements to be incorporated in a greater work) and maybe it's postmodern and maybe it's not. whatever. so there. i appreciate the link anyway. Wednesday, October 17, 2001
it worked! i am now suitably impressed.
ok. maybe this will work. if it does, this is my first post from aim, using bloggerbot. which is pretty cool and may actually be useful, and i'd be suitably impressed. and there was something else i was absolutely determined to mention, but now i've completely forgotten it. arg.
i have a very painful sore throat today. which makes me not feel like talking to anyone, which is annoying because i think i'm in what would otherwise be a talkative mood. ouch. i went to the doctor today - i was a walk-in, so i had to wait like two hours for all the old ladies with appointments to be seen - and then it took about three minutes for the doctor to say, wow, your throat looks really painful. don't worry, it's not strep throat. here's a prescription, see you later. which is really just fine with me, provided the stuff works. speaking of which, i need to go pick that up before rite-aid closes... Monday, October 15, 2001
as someone trained in intellectual property and entertainment law, let me tell you this: the riaa scares me. they're not in it for the artists, they're in it for the record companies, for the entrenched industry that faces complete and total destruction from online music distribution, legal or pirated. the music industry is in an adapt or die situation, and are unwilling to adapt, so they flail desperately, and will stop at nothing to cling onto their outdated infrastructure. including gestapo-esque tactics like this. Hillary Rosen, stay the hell away from my computer. Sunday, October 14, 2001
absolutely, positively, without fail: every time i take the meyers-briggs test, for as long as i can remember, in every stage of my life, i've come out the same type. infp. always. and i'm always nervous that maybe it'll be different this time, but it never is. and there it is again, today: --- Your Type is INFP - Introverted Intuitive Feeling Perceiving --- Strength of the preferences % 44 22 56 78 Saturday, October 13, 2001
right. and to make this a really marathon blogging day, one more thing - i'd be remiss not to thank shaun for mentioning me yesterday on his newly redesigned fidelite , which has been one of my favorites for quite a while now; and alison for dropping by here with some kind words...both are impossibly cool people, and if anyone (though i can't imagine how) reading this site hasn't visited both of theirs, go now - and see how this weblog thing is supposed to be done.
oh, and a few things i've been meaning to mention... that canvas took longer to stretch and gesso than it did to paint. it's weird, because usually it takes me forever to think out what i'm going to paint, but i had been envisioning this for a while, and so i just came home one night and painted it, and that was that, just like i'd seen it in my mind. it's bizarrely abstract, but i'm pleased with it. not that i'm finished, but it's at a stopping point until the next step occurs to me. maybe i'll post a picture of it later. oh, and in case you haven't noticed, my left side menu has a few new editions down at the bottom - links to independentsday.org and souloftheweb.com. it's a good concept, to encourage what's good about the web, the things that make this such an important new medium, the individuals and organizations that have created the content that makes this online world of ours a community, and not a big fucking shopping mall. and i didn't even have to change the colors on the independentsday.org button to match my site, and yet they match exactly. odd coincidence...
some things just shouldn't mix. like fathers and high-testosterone guy-talk. i went to lunch yesterday at anselmo's with the motley crew that makes up the ill-begotten entity that is the family law firm - and it was pleasant enough. what was strange was going back later that evening with my cousin doug, after the old guard had been there all day, drinking steadily. don't get me wrong, it was great fun at times, and i heard some really interesting family history, and some great courtroom war-stories. but some of those conversations, i'd rather not have heard. some of those things, i'd rather not know. Friday, October 12, 2001
i didn't make it to the quasi show last night, because i decided to stop by charles' place on the way and ended up playing drinking games with charles, his sister christine, and her roommates. but we ran out of beer pretty early, and i drove home, sober. early night. oh well. oh, and not to duck the grim realities out there, this anthrax business is fucked up creepy. it's not that dangerous, or so we're told - but the sheer sick calculation of someone to send this stuff to the media is spooky. though it is interesting, from a journalism / theoretical perspective, to watch nbc news attempt to report on itself, when it is the news... maybe the weirdest thing i've seen of all this anthrax-phobia yet: i was following various links from a cnn story and i came upon this official, u.s. government military site, apparently it's whatever military unit administers the anthrax vaccine to troops. the site itself looks like a gamer site, with all the sleek, gaudy overdone techno graphics. but this flash animation could almost make you think anthrax is fun, pumping dance beats and all... Thursday, October 11, 2001
it's a miserable warm storm outside, and i'm tired - but i think i'm going to try to make it out to see quasi at the mermaid tonight. we'll see... Wednesday, October 10, 2001
i got new glasses yesterday. two pair - one is pleasant enough, conservative, normal, wireframe glasses, with a fairly unobtrusive style, in kind of a coppery color. they look fine, they work well (with my new slightly strengthened prescription) and they have all sorts of fancy anti-whatever coatings, and they have both arm things, which is more than i can currently say for my previous pair. the second pair is just about exactly what i've wanted for quite some time - but better. they're black plastic frames, but small and retro and dare i say, hip - while still being a bit professional looking. they should increase the 'charisma' hit points a bit, while keeping the 'oh-god-you're-trying-too-hard' factor to a minimum. it's about damn time. ever notice that 'the animal planet' channel repeats itself in three hour cycles? it does. i hate that i know that.
i can't pass this one up - wired news picked up on the fact that anti-american protesters in bangladesh are using a poster of osama bin laden with images of him taken from the web. including one which prominently features bert. mysterious ways, i tell you. Tuesday, October 09, 2001
up late gessoeing a canvas. listening to kahimi karie, the replacements, modest mouse, mos def. a big one (32" x 42") and i'm all splotchy white-covered, hands, knees. this is always exciting, always a bit nervous - it's not a canvas anymore, it's an indictment, a taunt - unknownwhitespaceinfinitepotential, haunting until it's resolved ... Monday, October 08, 2001
it's odd that fox news, america's most unabashedly opinionated station, switches over, late at night, to coverage by their british 'sister station' skynews, which seems to have a considerably more tempered, objective - even skeptical - reporting style. maybe that's just the nature of the british, or a result of their somewhat less direct interest in this war... or maybe it's just that i'm not used ot objective reporting after seeing dan rather, tom brokaw and bill o'reilly wax patriotic so often over the last few weeks. oh, right. so now we've attacked the taliban, substantial numbers of pakistanis are rioting, and america is bracing for a 'response'. this should be fun. i saw a sign taped up in the r-bar a couple of weeks ago that kind of sums it all up - "may peace and sensibility prevail." and heavy firepower, and good aim... my freshman year roommate was pakistani. from lahore, if i remember correctly. we weren't great friends, but we managed. i believe he's an investment manager somewhere on the east coast these days, or getting his mba - in virginia, last i heard. good guy. i should look him up sometime. Sunday, October 07, 2001
it's not like me (i don't think, at least) to be a disagreeable person for no reason, and least of all to be that way with my friends. i don't understand what, if anything, was wrong with me last night, because i didn't feel angry or upset at all. maybe a little sad is all, or uncomfortable? i don't know. it's all very confusing, and i don't understand it, but i'm sorry regardless. Friday, October 05, 2001
lots of designing going on - brainstorming cd covers - this is has been a productive week all around. and i got a stack of the postcards i designed for aunt sally's pralines, they turned out really well. it's always great to see your work - that started out on your screen - in a real, tangible, here-it-is form. i don't think i'll ever stop getting a thrill out of that... Thursday, October 04, 2001
i didn't even know i was going until late this evening, but i just got back from the kind of concert that reminds me why i love music so much, and live music in particular. ron sexsmith opening for lucinda williams. two incredible singer / songwriters. they even sang a song together. it was incredible. and to hear lucinda sing "crescent city" to a hometown crowd - was downright uplifting. i'll write more about it all in the music section, 'cause that's why it's there, right? during the concert, charles and i talked to these two really cute girls who had just moved down to new orleans from st. louis and michigan. charles bought them a few abita ambers to welcome them to new orleans, and things seemed to be going swimmingly. he was talking to them after the concert in the street about going out from there. but it was not to be, and they went their own way and we went ours. and then we changed our minds and followed them in hopes of getting a phone number, at least. and then we gave up and turned back toward the car. and then we turned back around and went looking for them. no luck, but ah, such is life. all of this indecision was charles' doing, so i claim no responsibility at all for the whole fiasco. hmm. i think i'll edit this tomorrow after some sleep, it doesn't seem to make much sense now. then, neither did the event itself.. Tuesday, October 02, 2001
when i was in high school, i had a bulletin board in my room. it wasn't for notes or calendars or to do lists - it was where i would pin just about anything that was important to me, and so it became, after a while, a kind of collage of what i was about. concert tickets, favorite quotes, a polaroid or two of my girlfriend at the time, various pins and patches and stickers, a dried buttoniere rose from some dance or other, a high school letter... sort of a three dimensional journal. similar in some ways to what this website is for me now, now that i think about it. it's still there in my old room in my parents house - maybe the only thing about that room that remains the same as it was the day i left for college.
i was thinking about two of the quotes on that board today, not for any reason in particular - it struck me that both of them were pretty youthfully idealistic - an easy attitude for a kid growing up in a nice upperclass suburb, with no wants to speak of - to the point of being irresponsible by my standards today, encumbered as life is by little trifles like careers, money, food... but i still get a little chill of enjoyment out of each of them, a little glimmer of hope that maybe life really is that simple, and we just clutter it up with responsibilities to make ourselves feel useful... "calvin: life is a complicated place, hobbes... hobbes: whenever i feel that way, i take a nap in a tree and wait for dinner." "it is not necessary to accept reality. many people have lived and died never having accepted it." |